Ditch the Dating Rules! Wear What You Want, Do Who You Like

Ditch the Dating Rules! Wear What You Want, Do Who You Like

I was at drinks last night when someone said, “You know, sex positive seems like a term made up by men.” We’d been discussing dating, sex, and Raya profiles, as New York City women are wont to do, and yet—I took a gulp of my Old Fashioned and shook my head no. Actually, it’s the result of ’80s feminism, I said, when prominent thinkers argued that a woman’s social freedom is aligned with her sexual freedom.

These days we can thank Amy Schumer and others for hilariously, smartly putting to shame the practice of slut-shaming, but we need only to look back to, say, The Scarlet Letter to know that society has historically been prejudiced against a sexually liberated woman, the woman who has never waited around for the guy to make the first move, the woman who, in their words, “looks” like she’s “asking” for it.

It’s the type of repression that has long threatened to detach women from desire and pleasure—which is why the sight of Vogue.com Breathless columnist Karley Sciortino, fully renouncing slut-shaming and embracing sex positivity in her O-Mighty “Do Whatever You Want” T-shirt, is so refreshing and liberating. As Karley told me recently, “In my late 20s, I thought I had to dress more conservatively in order to be seen as serious, sophisticated. Now that I’ve turned 30, I’m like, ‘Fuck it! Do whatever you want.’ Now I spend my evenings searching things like ‘leopard-print PVC dress’ on eBay.”

Even if Sciortino’s tee is too brash for you, you can certainly take cues from its free, forward-thinking spirit and make a strong, stylish statement. For a night out of flirting (and maybe much more), why not throw on High Heels Suicide’s “Property of No One” embroidered men’s jacket? There’s no better or chicer way of asserting your sexual freedom. Rosie Assoulin’s scarlet “She’s Come Undone” button-down wide-leg trousers are as bold as your advances. Or, should you prefer, simply slip into something a bit more comfortable with Love Stories’s Reggipetto elegant dotted tulle bralette, peeking out from under a Missoni striped cardigan. Either way, the message is clear: You’re in control of your own fun.


Vetements hooded logo-print sweatshirt
Vetements hooded logo-print sweatshirt

Vetements hooded logo-print sweatshirt, $735, matchesfashion.com; Calvin Klein Underwear perfectly fit mid-rise stretch-jersey briefs, $21, theoutnet.com; Rosie Assoulin She’s Come Undone button-down trousers, $1,980, matchesfashion.com; Gucci horsebit-detailed goat hair slippers, $1,800, net-a-porter.com; O-Mighty Be a Slut velvet crop tee in Bed, $52, for information: o-mighty.com; These Are Things Nope heart patch, $5, thesearethings.com

Photo (Clockwise from top left) Courtesy of matchesfashion.com; Courtesy of theoutnet.com; Courtesy of matchesfashion.com; Courtesy of net-a-porter.com; Courtesy of o-mighty.com; Courtesy of thesearethings.com


Salua striped boyfriend pj shirt
Salua striped boyfriend pj shirt

Salua striped boyfriend pj shirt, $69, garmentory.com; Miu Miu sunglasses, $390, store.miumiu.com; The Elder Statesman striped zipped knit hoodie, $1,495, farfetch.com; Dirty Grl soap, $20, dirtygrl.bigcartel.com; Rochas medium blue socks, $245, modaoperandi.com

Photo (Clockwise from top left) Courtesy of garmentory.com; Courtesy of Miu Miu; Courtesy of farfetch.com; Courtesy of dirtygrl.bigcartel.com; Courtesy of modaoperandi.com


Vetements toe-detail leather ankle boots
Vetements toe-detail leather ankle boots

High Heels Suicide Property of No One men’s jacket, price upon request, for information: highheelsuicide.com; Gucci stretch leather leggings, $1,995, gucci.com; Make Smith Not Yours luggage tag, $25, makesmith.com; Swarovski Atelier Kalix large necklace, $1,490, for information: swarovski.com; Vetements toe-detail leather ankle boots, $1,585, matchesfashion.com

Photo (Clockwise from top left) Courtesy of highheelsuicide.com; Courtesy of Gucci; Courtesy of makesmith.com; Courtesy of Swarovski; Courtesy of matchesfashion.com


SeaVees striped sneaker
SeaVees striped sneaker

Design Lengths Remy straight 14-inch clip-in human hair extensions, $125, sallybeauty.com; Huf triple triangle black snapback, $17, shopsuperstreet.com; Linda Farrow keyhole bridge tortoiseshell acetate optical glasses, $450, lanecrawford.com; O-Mighty Popular Slut Club ringer tee, $44, o-mighty.com; Juicy Couture Baby Juicy Crown two-piece long-sleeve velour tracksuit, $40, juicycouture.com; SeaVees striped sneaker, price upon request, for information: seavees.com

Photo (Clockwise from top left) Courtesy of shopbop; Courtesy of Sally Beauty; Courtesy of shopsuperstreet.com; Courtesy of Lane Crawford; Courtesy of o-mighty.com; Courtesy of shopbop.com; Courtesy of seavees.com


Louis Vuitton earrings
Louis Vuitton earrings

Louis Vuitton earrings, price upon request, for information: louisvuitton.com; Givenchy red sequin beaded clutch, $1,800, villageluxe.com; Gucci mink-fur trimmed tweed jacket, $3,763, matchesfashion.com; Lucchese Gallop boots, $349, lucchese.com; Rebecca Minkoff Stevia skirt, $498, for information: rebeccaminkoff.com

Photo (Clockwise from top left) Courtesy of Louis Vuitton; Courtesy of villageluxe.com; Courtesy of matchesfashion.com; Courtesy of lucchese.com; Courtesy of Rebecca Minkoff


Tory Burch high-waist flare jeans
Tory Burch high-waist flare jeans

Tory Burch high-waist flare jeans, $135, toryburch.com; Missoni cotton blend cardigan, $1,450, stylebop.com; Lunette Menstrual Cup Blue Model 1, $40, lunette.com; Alexa Wagner suede and leather platform sandals, $733, matchesfashion.com; Love Stories Reggipetto elegant dotted tulle bralette, $57, lanecrawford.com

Photo (Clockwise from top left) Courtesy of Tory Burch; Courtesy of Missoni; Courtesy of lunette.com; Courtesy of matchesfashion.com; Courtesy of Lane Crawford


Baked by Melissa cupcakes
Baked by Melissa cupcakes

Baked by Melissa cupcakes, price upon request, for information: bakedbymelissa.com; Gaming women’s Pac-Man cherry t-shirt, $26, 8ball.co.uk; Sleepy Jones underwear, price upon request, for information: sleepyjones.com

Photo (Clockwise from top left) Courtesy of Baked by Melissa; Courtesy of 8ball.co.uk; Courtesy of Sleepy Jones

The post Ditch the Dating Rules! Wear What You Want, Do Who You Like appeared first on Vogue.


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